I have seen the waves crash the beach daily for many months as I watch the sun rise over the mountain behind my hair that blew in the chilled wind. I have seen women mourning the death of the children they had lost. I have seen beauty in all the many things I have seen, from death and life because the one who created this earth is living in it all. I have given my heart to hands that I knew it was not safe to rest in and I have given my heart to hands that knows the place it needs to go. I have made the best decisions I could have possibly made and I have made the worst. But I do not regret any of it because each decision I made has brought me here and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I have hurt those who mean more to me than anyone else dwelling on this earth, I apologize and they always take me back into those dangly arms they have. I have the most incredible people in my life, each person I have encountered has such unique qualities that I will boldly say, changes the way I live. I learn from each person I have met, ask me what I’ve learned from you because I promise I have learned something, even if we have only met in a five minute passing conversation. I love the people of this land, this beautiful cornfield-crowded land of Indiana. But it is time to leave again, two months from now I will be in a new place that will soon become my home. A place that lays history of missionaries but also genocide, a place of great light and great darkness, a place of many stories that are engraved in the stone of the buildings I will pass: Germany. As tears well into my eyes and I pour out waves and waves onto the sheet of paper that I write on, I know where I am called. The plan that I would make for myself is nothing compared to the grand plan that the Lord has so graciously written for me and placed into my hands. A plan that consists of fighting for the ones He loves so dearly, those enslaved and beaten daily all for this sex driven culture we live through every day. A great depression of the mind. A genocide across the world of women and children and men, forced into something they never imagined to do. But God has made a promise, a promise to end this, a promise of redemption, a promise of hope. So here I go, a world of the unknown, walking with the One who knows all. No fear has crept into this beautiful mind He’s given me. So I’m here now for two months, drinking orange juice for every meal and eating olives more than I should. But ahead of me is more than I can bear, but it is worth every penny in my pocket and it is worth my life to spare.
Oh how I love thee, I won’t let you go. Even though I will be miles from you, we still see the same sun, the same moon, and the same stars. I love you.